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| I have been on xanga for quite some time... i might come back but for now i have moved to blogspot.
http://kevinyli.blogspot.com/
see you there!
kevin
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| Yesterday, Steve Arthur and I were playing rockband. For those of you who don't know rockband... it's basically a game where you play as members of the band. (guitarist, bassist, drummer, or singer) You play the notes that appear on the screen corresponding with the buttons on the instrument. (except for singing... you have to hit those notes with your voice)
Anyway, this game is quite tough. Steve and Arthur are pros so they play hard mode while I play medium mode. Steve was the drummer, Arthur the bassist and I was the guitarist.
Through out the night we played some easy songs and some hard songs. Even though we exchanged minimum words with each other throughout the night, I felt a mutual connection among us. There was an unwritten respect and trust that kept us going. I rarely looked at their notes and see how they were doing because I trusted that they were going to be okay. (Sure, I was also busy looking at my own notes but there was no temptation to glance over) Even when things got tough and some one may fail there was a trust that we would save them and there was no need to worry. Sometimes at the end of a hard song, one of us would humbly admit it was a hard song but we would always say something encouraging at the end like... it's okay no worries we got your back.
I believe this is similar to our life. Sometimes the adventurers like to choose the hard route and the safe players would like to choose the medium route. However what's not in our control is the songlist that has been written for us. There are easy songs and hard songs in life. Everyone gets a different life that God has preordained. We look around us and sometimes everyone else seems to be doing fine or playing their songs with ease and excellence. Sometimes it gets so hard we fail. However, God always provides someone in our life to resuscitate us. We learn from our mistakes and try again.
I remember Arthur chose expert once and it was very challenging. There were moments where he was in the red zone and there were times where he got the hang of it and was really racking up some points. In expert mode, you rack up more points than hard or medium mode. Sometimes I would think man I wish I was racking up points at his rate but who am I to covet him... If I was given the same difficulty, I would have failed. Same with life... sometimes we think man that guy is successful in life... I covet his life but... if we only knew how truly difficult it was we would not be coveting. "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." -Luke 12:48
Arthur was able to finish the song without failing. He didn't really need our help but I believe what he needed was our trust. He needed us to give him a chance to conquer this. So we gave it to him, and he delivered. When he was in the red, we remained silent and did not patronize his decision to pick expert mode and we let him do his thing and not too long he pulled through and by the grace of God sometimes we pull through a lot of things in this life.
In the middle of one of the song, I had to save someone. It was because he did not know the song very well... It was at the beginning of the song and it just so happen that the song had a beginning solo part for him so we were able to watch him. We saw him missed the notes but none of us could do anything. Only when he failed when we were given the chance to save him. Sometimes in life, God doesn't allow us to meddle with the life that other people are living or maybe the person doesn't allow us in their life. Only when that person is ready or maybe at the point of failure can we do something. Sometimes our experiences might be new and that's when things get tough... and at the beginning we don't let anyone help us, we want to learn and get used to it; however, there are times when no matter how much we try we still fail. That's when God humbles us to the point where we need to depend on others.
I remember after saving him, we did not exchange thank you or your welcome. I don't think there was a need. There was a mutual understanding that he would have done the same if I was in his shoes. As guys, I believe what is important is not necessary the thank you but the ability to trust the other person when things are tough to know that they will be there no matter what and will not let you down. At the end of that difficult song we were able to get 5 stars which is the highest rating. It would not have been possible if we had any doubt in each other's capabilities.
Towards the end of the night, as I stood there jamming on the buttons and rocking out the tunes I remember seeing Arthur standing on my left and Steve sitting on my right... both with the same attitude and intensity as I of wanting to finish the songs with excellence. I felt indeed like a rockstar... a rockstar in a band where all the members had the same goal. To rock out for Jesus.
I believe this is how one way God created us guys to bond. Girls have pillow talks and guys have sports and games. Girls care more about being loved while guys care more about being respected. God knows this very well which is why Scripture tells the husband to "love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33
Even though we all did not talk much that night... I felt it was different. We respected and trusted each other. I was able to trust my friends because I have known them for a while. Should we not trust our Lord Jesus even more so? Maybe at times you feel like God is not speaking to you at the moment... Maybe He is patiently waiting for you to trust him. Maybe He is waiting for you to get to know him more. How? Read His word so you can walk humbly with Him by trusting Him.
"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." -Micah 6:8
kevin
P.S. we are looking for a singer. Jeff will not sing. =/
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| this weekend was very special to me. my two good friends angela and steve got married. angela was always like a sister to me. i have gotten to kno steve through angela. i have met up with them once after they started dating and i can feel steve's passion and the gift of leadership that God has given him. im so happy for both of them... i can definitely see God's faithfulness in both their lives and now i am in great hopes of seeing more of His faithfulness in their lives as a couple. I think in many ways... God has given me this weekend to pause and reflect upon His goodness to me. God used the wedding to initiate this reflection process. The exhortation and message at the wedding was very powerful. One of the points that stuck was the fact that the pastor said... that on that day there were tons of other weddings going on... but what made Angela and Steve's so special is that they invited Jesus into it. The passage was from the Gospel of John where it talks about Jesus' first miracle. I feel like this generation consist of a lot of people who are self-focused. They want to be known whether it is through youtube, facebook, twitter, xanga, etc. I am guilty of this as well. Yet, when I see a couple like Angela and Steve... I always think to myself man... what a great witness of His grace. They don't really care whether they are known... they only care whether people know about God and His love for His people through His Son Jesus Christ. The next day at church I was able to really meditate and reflect upon the Scriptures. I read Lamentations. It was very sobering. I love it how the whole book pivots near the middle of the book at 3:22-24. I remember doing a bible study of this book... It is such a poetic book that has a very cool form. 5 chapters each with 22 verses except for the middle chapter (chapter 3) which has 66 verses. It climaxes at chapter 3:22-24 and everything revolves around that one point. As the book goes from chapter one to two... it seems like the prophet has lost all hope for Israel. Even the verses right before 3:22... it says. "my soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; so I say, "My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the Lord." It seems like the hope is perished as well... However by God's grace it does not end there... "But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." -Lamentations 3:22-24 I think this really put into perspective my current state. I have sinned against the Holy God daily. I have hated people in my heart, I have complained against God when things are not going my way, I have not been content, I have had envy in my heart, I have had many idols in my heart, I have argued with my mom, I looked at the beatitudes and I realized how much I fall short. I am proud, merciless, corrupted in the heart, satisfied with the things of this world, and fall short of all that Christ has called me to be as disciples of His... but yet, He has not punished me like He has on Israel during the exile. God is so patient with me and it is so unbelievable. I have a hard time trusting His faithfulness, even though He has been faithful every time. Realizing how far I fall short, I have no hope except in running to my Savior Jesus Christ to ask Him to cover me with His righteous blood and for His grace to empower me to become more of what He has called me to be. I pray that God would give me the grace to be able to follow the greatest commandment daily, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12:30 After reflecting upon scripture, Pastor Ray preached on Matthew 5:13-16 and encouraged us to be salt and light so that people would be able to taste and see that the Lord is good. (-Psalm 34... I love this psalm =D) It was definitely a sobering message. In the end, I realized Matthew 5:16 is another reminder of how everything on this life is not about me or us... it is all about God and His glory. The wedding is about His glory, the reading of Scripture, the self-reflection, the message preached, even me being salt and light, is all about His glory. I pray that God would be able to grant me the grace to be able to live out the beatitudes and Romans 12 (all of chapter 12). After church, I was able to read and just study on theology and providence. It sounds really nerdy but I think it was an awesome way to end a weekend fill with God's grace. I didn't meet up with too many people this weekend... I think it was more introspective and introverted but I felt it was definitely necessary and very very sweet. It was definitely a rocked out weekend... for Jesus Christ. I hope and pray that I would continue to be a salt and light to those around me who don't know Christ and that through me they would taste and see that the Lord is good. =) to Him be the glory, kevin | | |
| wow i haven't blogged in ages... i guess i have been so busy... i wonder who even reads this thing anymore haha... i need to resuscitate this thing...
i am currently still in bay area. i looove sf. i will miss it when i move to the east coast. i am definitely thankful to God for so many blessings upon blessings here in eastbay. after graduation i have done so many things... from traveling, to going to concerts, to seeing musicals, to hiking, to eating at awesome restaurants, to treatin people out, to camping, to roadtrips, to so many more things...
looking back im thankful for my mid twenties... i can't believe it i am turning 27 in half a year. 
im thankful to God for growing me in so many ways... i think these three years have really given me life experiences that will allow me to understand a bit more about people, conflicts, sin, and God.
well i just ate... and don't have much substantial things to write...
i will be going down to so cal for a wedding this weekend wooot... and then after i move down... ill be chillin in hawaii for a bit and then after i move to the east coast.. ill try to visit boston as well...
then columbia here i come... haha
till next time.
kevin | | |
| G.K. Chesterton wrote a brief response to this question as follows:
"Dear Sirs: I am. Sincerely Yours, G.K. Chesterton"
What is wrong with the world? I am.
I have failed as a son.
I don't sacrifice for the family. I am NOT understanding towards her. I am critical towards her. I don't receive her love because I don't think I can live up to my mom's expectations. I imposed my own expectations of her onto her. I am not flexible of her. I take and take and don't give much back. I take my mom for granted. I take her food for granted. I do not like serving her and going out of my way to serve her. I think it is more of a duty and hassle than a privilege.
I have failed as a brother.
I am not there when she needs me. I don't trust her with things. I don't know what's going on in her life. I am busy many times. I don't want her to bother me and I would talk to her only when it is convenient for me.
I have failed as a friend.
I have certain expectations of friends. I am not flexible. I give to people, make an investment, and do many things for people but that in itself is selfish because I naturally self impose my expectations of them just because I have done certain things for them or because I have given them much. So in the end being my friend might give you a certain pressure because you would be expected much.
I have failed as a roommate.
I don't want to serve them. I have certain expectations of cleaniness. I am critical of the way they act and live.
I have failed as a human.
I have a darken heart that tends to portray my "bright" side to people. I don't think best of people. I have self imposed stress due to my own expectations of things. I am not critical about myself. I am critical of others. I am cold towards those who are my enemies. I lack a lot of love. I don't really care about people.
I have failed as a creation of God.
I am rebellious towards Him. I have certain expectations of God. I have certain expectations of the way my life is supposed to be. I don't want Him to control my life. I don't recognize his Sovereignty. I don't trust the fact that He is doing everything for my good. I think He is restricting my freedom and that He does not know what's best for me. The list goes on...
So I wholeheartly agree with G.K. Chesterton.
With all these failures...Where is my hope? Jesus Christ. Christainity is not FIRST about following Jesus. Tim Keller mentions that we can avoid Jesus by just following Jesus' rules. It is to love Him first. Christians in the first century was known as the atheist because we are radically different than religion because we were not about following rules. If I love Him first the rest will fall into place and He will do His part to make me a better person.
So... my final failure is... I failed as a lover of Christ.
However, Jesus died for all these failures. Therefore my hope lies in Him that He will make me more of a lover of Him and by His power and grace He will change me. It might be slow because of my rebellious heart but surely because He is that powerful and that great.
Therefore, my joy and hope is Jesus Christ. That in itself is sufficient. Sometimes I am tired of living the Christian life; however, I must persevere because if I were to even move an inch his way... He would move a mile. I might not see it... but I believe it.
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